And another one opens. I’m sure you know the old adage well. It’s so true. I find it especially helpful to remember when I’m going through a hard time or when something has come to an end.

I was in my early 20s when I first learned this all-important lesson. At the time I was on the graduate management training programme at Selfridges in London. I applied for a promotion, which I didn’t get. My best friend got it instead. As I celebrated with her, I cried for myself. I was genuinely happy for her and at the same time, deeply disappointed. I’ve always taken things hard and personally, so any form of rejection or failure (that is how I’d automatically see it) reinforced a self-belief that I’m just not quite good enough.

I wasn’t rejected and I hadn’t failed. What I didn’t know at the time was that, as a result of the interview, it had been decided that the next job that came up would be mine. A few months later, without having to attend an interview, I was offered the role of Assistant Buyer/Manager of the luggage department, which was an amazing role – far better than the promotion I had originally applied for. I gained great experience and loved every minute of my time there. Yes, a door had shut but it was because there was a better one for me just around the corner. I stress the ‘for me’ part because the job my friend had I actually would have hated. So, in fact, the universe did me a great service not letting me succeed on this occasion!

I try to bear this in mind whenever I have a personal setback. Now, I’m not going to say that I’ve not been bitterly disappointed when something doesn’t go my way especially if I’ve set my heart on it. I do shed a few tears but this philosophy helps me to recover my equilibrium and perspective so much more quickly. If I remind myself that there is something with my name on it that is just around the corner, I’m able to look forwards rather than backwards.  I see it as the possibility of something positive and with that comes a little twinge of excitement. It makes me accept the situation more easily. And once there is acceptance you can move on! It’s a new beginning, rather than an ending – a subtle yet powerful change in perception.

So, the next time you don’t get something that you have set your heart on or something changes in your circumstances, by all means, give yourself time to let it sink in, grieve and adjust. Then stand up, dust yourself off and remind yourself that as one door has shut a new one and even better one might just be around that next corner for you!

Optimistically yours

Alison